i'm way too lazy to go figure when was the last time we had a conversation, but yeah anyway, i know that it has been a long time..
and see, it has been a long time that i haven't written anything in here either..
i wonder how i can still feel so connected to you, how you can still make my gay heart happy..
i don't know you anymore, but if you let me, i will make you the centre of my attention and the object of my devotion..
i want to learn about you all over again..
i want to fall in love with you all over again..
why did you go away?.. it doesn't matter now, just make sure to stay..
i missed you.. and i never stopped thinking about you..
March 2, 2008
disillusion
i don't know what to say really.. i honestly thought that all those silly things had been left behind in high school.. this week has been really bad and i intend to put it to the back of my mind.. i am starting rehab today, haha..
rehab to cure my addiction to the library in general, to the socialising area behind the page break, to money-hungry starbucks and its tempting coffee and cookies..
as well as my addiction to hanging out with the group, and my addiction to spending time with X, whom i shall love with all my heart no matter what..
i don't understand her fully, and i don't know her that well, but i try to.. i was very disappointed yesterday that she didn't show up.. but oh well, life's like that.. pretty shitty..
i don't know what the heck is wrong with me.. because i have a big problem..
anyway.. i really have no idea what's going on in our big happy family, and i'm not deserting it, but i need some space.. i think we're all sick of one another, to some extent, but won't say it.. haha!
(okay maybe it's only me. and it's not that i'm sick of the guys as individuals, no no no, i love them all! but the group, as a group, is becoming a little too extreme for me. i have never been a big group fan. i have always had a few best friends and a thousand acquaintances. i have to thank H for making me realise that.. anyway..)
i hope all turns out right in the end.. i'm going to be depressed this week, i'm going to be a bitch and will feel free to shut myself from the world if i want to. i'm going to have weird negative thoughts and will act weirdly, and won't care about what others think or say.
well, oddly enough, here you go, these were the thoughts of the day!
cheerios!
rehab to cure my addiction to the library in general, to the socialising area behind the page break, to money-hungry starbucks and its tempting coffee and cookies..
as well as my addiction to hanging out with the group, and my addiction to spending time with X, whom i shall love with all my heart no matter what..
i don't understand her fully, and i don't know her that well, but i try to.. i was very disappointed yesterday that she didn't show up.. but oh well, life's like that.. pretty shitty..
i don't know what the heck is wrong with me.. because i have a big problem..
anyway.. i really have no idea what's going on in our big happy family, and i'm not deserting it, but i need some space.. i think we're all sick of one another, to some extent, but won't say it.. haha!
(okay maybe it's only me. and it's not that i'm sick of the guys as individuals, no no no, i love them all! but the group, as a group, is becoming a little too extreme for me. i have never been a big group fan. i have always had a few best friends and a thousand acquaintances. i have to thank H for making me realise that.. anyway..)
i hope all turns out right in the end.. i'm going to be depressed this week, i'm going to be a bitch and will feel free to shut myself from the world if i want to. i'm going to have weird negative thoughts and will act weirdly, and won't care about what others think or say.
well, oddly enough, here you go, these were the thoughts of the day!
cheerios!
January 12, 2008
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